Starring: Sergeant Dick Ta Tour
Private Ban Ana
Private Lee Liu
the Sergeant only shouts, never speaks or lowers his voice
the three Privates have no real tension in their bodies, they only wake up/fight this when they speak,
when the sergeant is on they seem bored or kind of numb
the scene has to take place in Hong Kong or Zürich,
otherwise the transcultural aspect could be endangered
also if the Sergeants parents could be ethnically mixed the gods would be pleased
Sergeant Dick Ta Tour (S): Company! State your name, nationality and major discipline.
Be aware that a possible visitor knows nothing about your process, so try to express yourself audience friendly and clearly. You maggots got me?
Ban Ana(B), Finix(F), Lee Liu(L): Sir, yes Sir!
B: Ana “Banana” Negrea. Romanian. Stage Design.
L: Xiaobin “Lee” Liu. Chinese. Fine Arts in Creative Media.
F: Simon “Finix” Dietersdorfer. Austrian. Composition for Film, Theatre and Media.
S: Bullshit! I can’t hear you. All of you are Artists.
(salutes to the sky) No boarder, no Nation – Trancultural Collaboration!
(back to the company) Apply your working method you crumbs, now!
L(very slowly): Well…sir, at first we want to try different methods of research and work. We define ’em together on monday and develop ’em throughout the week.
Could be a theatre scene…like this. Just messin’ around. Food for thought, yeah. Still we want to be able to change ’em, stay flexible you know what I am sayin’. Since are a group of people with very “special” needs and loads of ideas.
We’re very sensitive, also…
F(highly nervous and stressed): SiryesSiryesyesyesSIR! I need to relaaaaaax. (pauses, heavily breathing, then suddenly starts singing) I want to work.Work.Work.
Work until something comes up.
B(laughs): I am stressed, but also happy. When the others are happy I am relaxed, happy. I mean stressed. Yes. No.
S: Bullshit! I can’t hear you!
Private Liu!!! I heard you are missing two days a week, because of other “courses” you have to attend.So are you gonna lay down and cry like a little baby or how the hell are you gonna deal with this situation?
L(even slower): Easy…Sir.
B(shifts fast between desperate and very motivated): I. Them. We. We figured this one out, Sir.
Finix and me will also work individually on these two cursed days.
We only bring in our ideas when all of us are united. Then we select the best of them. Together. (laughs) Like this everyone is up to date at the same time(fast) and we have dropbox.
F(speaks without a pause): BUT!Butbutbutbutbutbutbutbuuuuuuuuuut:
we don’t understand this as a free pass to relax, right? I mean of course we wanna relax. And we will, I promise. We can also relax while working, I swear. Actually I am relaxed.
Whoa, did someone turn off the air condition, I am really hot.
L: Plus….Sir. Its not true, that I miss two whole days (long pause, he looks sequential at everyones face). For the second one we invented the idea of (raises his eyebrows) “mandatory coffee”. From 10h to 12h we will make a plaaan. An Art Plan. Like Planned Art. Ouh yeah.
F(nearly hysterical): And SirohSirohSir we want to finish our work one week before the due date. Yes I am serious one week before the final presentation. Actually that wasn’t my idea, but I am okay with it. I really am. One hundred percent.
S: Bullshit! I can’t hear you! What’s your Topic? Frame a key question! Don’t sleep on this.
L(quick): Bananas! Eggplants! Bananiaran Eggplants.
F: We’re focusing on Humor, Sir!
S: Thats Bullshit!
F: Exactly, Sir.
S: Bullshit, I can’t hear you.
F: That’s right, sir(Pause) we’re focusing on-
S: Bullshit, speak up!
F:(with a higher voice): Precisely, sir; Bullshit-
F(increasing volume and speed): Humor, Nonsens, Absurdity, Humbug, Rubbish, Poppycock, Piffle, FlimFlam, FiddleFaddle, Malarkey, Flapdoodle, Bushwa, Tomfoolery, Bosh, Folderol.
during this listing the sergeant dies of an heart attack & so he gets reanimated by the three privates,but the scene goes on without any comment about it
S: I thought your work was gonna be about „Plants. Plants. Plants. Plants. Plants. Plants. Plants. and Personalities and Identities“.
B: Well, that was just some sort of „Topical Island“.
S:(on his knees) NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I thought you had framed your questions, narrowed down your topic. (starts to cry, still shouting).
God, how could I be so wrong. I truly believed in you. Please don’t let me down.
F: I AM RELAXED!
L: Talkin’ to the „Sergeant“ over here. We never left this. Still workin’ on it. But we also got:
(Pause, then raised eyebrows) Empathy.
B: When and why do we start to feel empathy for something?
F: Like a plant!
L: How can we be connected to something that is not „alive“ in the first place?
F : Like a plant!
B: What defines something as „alive“? Consciousness? How do we know something is aware?
F: Like a plant!
L: Furthermore, when and why do emotions like Sadness, Happiness, Aggression and Fear kick in?
B: How can we suggest, provoke and at the same time direct them? Compose them. Musically,visually.
S(has tears in his eyes, salutes): Those(swallows) are framed questions! Sweet sweet narowed down questions. (reawakens) Enough of this Bullshit, you airheads!
Tell me straight: like the devil would knock on your mommas bedpost. Where the heck do I find Transculturality in this mess you callin’ a group?
L(again very slow): Everywhere.(pause) I mean… Sir. Open your eyes. What do you see?
An Austrian, a Romanian and a Chinese. Doing an „Art“ project in Hong Kong. How can this not be transculturall? I think even if we tried not be transcultural we’d still end up exchanging intercontinental juices, in an intellectual way if you know what i am sayin’.
S: Bullshit raised to the second power! I can’t hear you!
(counts in for singing)
Feels sometimes like constipation
But you just need to let it flow
Narrow down the way to go
And always, always keep in mind
Your topic has to be defined
stressed, relaxed, organised,
S: Alright now! Step off!
by Ana-Maria Negrea, Bruce Liu, Simon Dietersdorfer